Ode to a Legend - The Hitachi Magic Wand

The Hitachi Wand could be the very first sex toy that I ever encountered. I saw it though my wife (then girlfriend) was receiving a condom from her “toy box” and was terrified.

“That thing is freaking big! She puts that inside of her!?! Holy shit. How am I supposed to satisfy an individual utilized to that monstrosity?”

In case it is not obvious, I was much significantly less educated about sex toys than I'm now. Over the years I've come to possess an incredible respect and appreciation for the Hitachi Magic Wand. Speaking of years, it's worth noting that my wife has been employing precisely the same Magic Wand for the past six years. That is quality craftsmanship.

Hitachi introduced the Magic Wand for the industry inside the 1970’s as a private prostate massager for soothing sore muscles and tendons. It vibrates at a maximum of six,000 rpm and delivers these vibrations through a two.5” rubberized head. Though it's undoubtedly strong sufficient to be made use of as a muscle massager, it can be indisputably a sex toy. An iconic, legendary sex toy. Well known considering the fact that its inception, the Magic Wand (normally referred to as the “Hitachi”) was propelled to fame when Betty Dodson, a pioneer in sex education and pro-sex feminism, wrote and talked about it throughout the course of her profession.

The Hitachi Magic Wand’s stint in the public eye did not finish with Betty, though. It has been featured in quite a few common media venues like Sex and the City. It is also among by far the most broadly accessible sex toys out there. You may acquire one everywhere, from high quality sex toy stores like Babeland to crappy, shady small sex toy retailers within the Bible Belt of America. Walmart and American Apparel even carry them on their internet sites.

Although mainly used by ladies, it may also be rather pleasing for males to work with. The exact same deep, potent, and well-dispersed vibration that makes it earth-shattering for ladies also feels wonderful for men. Placed along the shaft or against the head (on low for me, thanks) is often fairly fun. If you are into anal play, you may also use it to vibrate a plug.

Surprisingly, to my know-how there have not been any sonnets or adore songs written to or concerning the Hitachi Magic Wand. However.

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Save Your Relationship

The Question:

My partner and I have been together for 2 years now and we have been living together for about 4 months. Now that we are living together I feel that our relationship has changed. We hardly ever have sex, probably once a month is about all we manage to achieve. Strap on sex is designed for the women who is pursuing high sexual quality life or who is making a special love to meet their needs.

I love sex and I’m sure that my partner does too, but for some reason we just can’t seem to make an effort to do the wild thing – one of us or both are always tired and sometimes it feels like we’re losing sexual compatibility; now it seems like I’ve had more passion in the past with other men or in the beginning of our relationship. You will buy flesh light for man as gift.

We do love each other and we’ve been through a lot together but I feel that our relationship is changing and I don’t know what to do about it.

We are becoming more like best friends everyday and I’m scared that the passion is fading. His idea of seduction and mine are totally different – he thinks ‘Let’s have sex?’ is an acceptable phrase into seducing a woman into hot sex, where as I would rather be pinned up against a wall without a word being said and so on…

When we weren’t living together our relationship was great; we did struggle a bit in the sex department but 3 times a week compared to once a month was a vast improvement.

Any advice you have considering this situation would be greatly appreciated. I don’t think I want to lose my relationship but I don’t know if I have the will power to save it – I don’t know what to do.

The Answer:

You might be surprised to learn that almost all long term relationships go through this ‘phase’ where everyone seems to get a little lazy. From my experience, it seems to happen somewhere between 18 months and 3 years into the relationship.

Here are some ideas that will help you make the best decision for you…

Does he know how you feel?

Open and honest communication is the most important component of any relationship.

Talk about it! Yes, with him, not with your girlfriends, not with anyone else. It’s absolutely amazing how many lovers simply don’t communicate openly and honestly with one another.

So many guys chat about their love live with their buddies, often as a way of bragging and showing off. And then they ask their guy friends if this or that sex idea would be ok. This is a bad idea for guys and girls. If you’re trying to figure out what sexual experiences to try out, talk with your lover not your buddies.

So, does he know that you crave hot spontaneous sex, or that you get excited by playing a little rough? Guess what, he might like that too! Or he might not, but you’ll never know if you don’t explore this topic together. And by the way, you’ll have a lot of fun and get a lot closer in the process.

Don’t hurt anyone’s feelings and check your ego at the door

It’s a strange thing, but sex partners often get their feelings hurt when one of them suggests trying something new, or doing something a little differently.

Get over it! The point of sex and intimacy is to enjoy each other and be happy together! Unless of course you’re focused solely on making babies – but that’s not the topic of this article…

Getting comfortable and killing your relationship

Complacency, also known as “getting comfortable” is the death knell of so many relationships, it may as well be a full blown epidemic. So many couples strive to “get comfortable”. What that means is they stop trying. And guess what… you stop trying, and your relationship dies. It’s that simple. The excitement and attraction dies, and your relationships becomes a project that you’re always fixing up. That’s no fun.

So how can you add that spice and excitement back into your relationship so that you’re not just lusting after those hot bodies at the gym?

Seduction as a game for lovers – the chase begins anew

The thrill of seduction doesn’t end when you get into a relationship. Why give up such a wonderful thing, even if you could?

Admit it, we enjoy the chase. I know I do and I’m at peace with it. And if you’re not chasing your lover, you’ll end up chasing someone else. We’re just wired that way. So let’s just accept that fact and use it to our advantage.

When was the last time you tried to seduce your partner? …

No, I’m not talking about coming home and saying “hey, let’s go have sex”. Blah! Boring!

I mean dressing up to look your best, wearing something sexy and feeling sexy.

Some of the best and most exciting sex is spontaneous sex, when you’re so wrapped up in the heat of the moment that you just can’t stop from ripping each other’s clothes off! Now that’s excitement. And doesn’t it sound more fun than “hey, let’s go have sex”?

Schedule hot sex dates

You go through the trouble of scheduling lunch and dinner appointments with just about everyone in your life. How about paying at least that much attention to your lover? Make time for that really steamy hot date, and plan accordingly. That way you’ll both be anticipating it all day, or all week.

Make a sex date box

Here’s a neat idea. Get together with your lover and each of you jot down a steamy date idea on a piece of paper and agree that each time you go on a hot steamy date, you’ll pick a card from your special sex date box.

Watch some erotic movies – together

Basic Instinct, Wild Orchid, 9 and 1/2 Weeks – it doesn’t have to be Playboy Porn, just something that gets you excited – trust me – he’ll get excited simply by you being excited.

Go out and buy some hot lingerie – together

What could be more exciting than shopping for hot lingerie together? By the time you’re done, you’ll be well in the mood for a hot sex date.

How about going to an adult toy store – together?

Maybe go visit an adult toy store together. Even if you don’t buy anything, you’re sure to have a lot of fun checking out all the merchandise.

Mix it up with some new sexual adventures

Doing the same old thing over and over again is bound to get boring. You wouldn’t watch the same TV show for the rest of your life, would you?

Try something different. Whether you’re up for a threesome or interested in the wild latex world of BDSM, the same idea applies.

Be open to new experiences. Venture out and keep it exciting.

In summary
Talk with your partner about sex. Really, make a date to sit down and go over it. Then resolve to always talk about it form then on.Check your ego at the door.

If your partner makes sex suggestions and you get defensive, then you’re missing the point completely. Get over it and put your partner first. You’ll be glad you did.

Don’t strive to get “comfortable” in a relationship. If you’re there, break out of it before you doom your relationship for good.

Bring the excitement of seduction and the chase back into your relationship – fast.

Actually schedule some hot sex dates with your partner. Really.

Keep it exciting with some new sexual adventures. Try new things. Open your mind and explore the entire world of sex possibilities.

For some fresh new sex ideas download Michael Webb’s 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets (Read our review here).

Dreaming in the Dark

Dreams are a funny business.  Some people spend their whole life chasing, reaching out, trying to get them, but rarely are they a catch-all to happiness if reached.  Some people are empowered by their dreams.  They can rejuvenate and re-energize.  Others grow bitter and despondent at the things in life that never were or never will be.

As kids we dream of the world.  I remember when I was young.  My dad had a map of the United States hanging in his shop.  In my mind, through my young eyes, it’s still ten feet across, but in reality I’m sure it was much less.  San Francisco, New York, Miami, Texas.  They were like faraway treasures only seen in movies.  Our town wasn’t even a faint dot on the map.  Population 1,200 doesn’t show up at that scale.  The Grand Canyon, giant redwood trees, the rolling ocean, and the Empire State Building filled my imagination.  The world seemed endless.  And I hadn’t even begun to think beyond the U.S.

By 23 I had talked my way into a 16-day, solo motorcycling camping trip for my final three credits of college.  I dipped my toes into the Pacific ocean, gazed across the Grand Canyon, and drove through the smoldering heat of Death Valley in late June and the snow-capped Rocky Mountains near the top of the world.  I’d lived in Florida for a year and moved back to the Midwest.

Once grown, everything shrinks.  Sometimes, so do our dreams.  But dreams are important, and we should never stop dreaming.  They can free us us from our routine and rut of life and set us on the most amazing new paths.

A few years back I read of a middle-aged couple who sold their house, their belongings, everything but the clothes on their back.  They packed up their motorcycle and set out to live life on the road, experiencing the world together.  They were true romantics.  They were dreamers.  The world is full of them.

I remember flying home for my sister’s wedding.  We stopped by the local bar, the only bar really in a town of 1,200 people.  Kids I’d gone to high school with drank beer and did shots and cracked jokes.  I drank in silence.  I thought of something I’d heard someone ask once, “Would you rather work one job for thirty years or thirty different jobs for one year each?”  Those people there seemed to be of the former.  I was the latter, and it all seemed so sad.

A year later I moved back home and realized I’d had it wrong.  They just had different dreams.  Family glued it all together in my mind.  Nieces and nephews ran rampant.  I got a job, one I could call a career.  I got promoted.  I got promoted again.  I bought a flat screen television.  And a car.  And worked 60 hours a week, spending my nights watching reruns of The Daily Show or Keeping up with the Kardashians or some Seinfeld episode for the sixth time.

I’d never contemplated suicide, but that isn’t the same as embracing life.  Or not wishing for death.  An old friend complained to me out of the blue, saying he would never kill himself, but that he could understand the appeal.  I understood.  Weeks before, my back a total mess, almost 400 pounds, spending ten minutes crawling ten damn feet to the bathroom on my hands and knees and hoping I wouldn’t shit myself, thoughts like getting robbed or in an accident or having a heart attack went through my head.

In the dark, left alone with only myself, it seemed like a good way to go.

I’d stopped dreaming.  Or I’d grown up, my dreams faded as if written long ago in pencil.  That happens to many it seems.  As a child those dark nights–all alone–had burst with adventure and possibility.  At what point does excitement fade into bitterness?

I contemplated quitting my job.  I shaved my head.  I continued burying myself in work and McDonalds and television.  I’d buy an extra value meal, a shake, a few burgers, then go home and try not to think about anything.  Again, I’d gotten it all wrong.

What is that old quote?  There are three types of people in the world: those that do, those that watch, and those that wonder.  That’s bullshit.  I don’t buy it.  There’s only one type at the core.  When you really boil it down to what we’re all after.  We’re all dreamers.  Some dreams have changed.  Some have got smaller.  Some people have just stopped dreaming altogether.  I had given up.

I want to dream again.  Not little dreams of a new car or a new job or a giant house or even winning the lottery.  Those are small dreams.  I’m talking big dreams.  Dreams that will truly change my life.  Dreams that will bring true happiness.  Those big dreams all start on the inside.  Those are dreams about changing yourself.  About overcoming your fears.  About accepting not who you are but who you know you can be.  Dreams that start with the knowledge that when reached, won’t bring you happiness, but knowledge that the joys and experiences along the journey are what life is about.  Those are the dreams that reinvigorate and re-energize.  Those are the adventures I used to dream about as a kid.

Tonight, laying awake in my bed, only silence and darkness around me, I’ll once again dream.