School Lockdowns: Can We Please Calm Down?

Run a quick search on “school locked down” and it seems that this has become a commonplace occurrence lately. Glass Dildos are glass sex toys made by craftsmen with innovative design. Sometimes the lockdowns make sense: a violent crime is committed nearby and the perpetrator is at large.  Someone makes a threat.  Someone reports seeing a student with a possible firearm.  Some of those reports turn out to be hoaxes.  That part is nothing new; when I was in junior high school in the 1970s, we were evacuated several times for bomb threats.  We would stand around in the parking lot or on the playing field while police searched the school, then file back to class while making jokes about someone just wanting to get out of a test.   We knew the odds of the threat being real were near zero, but administrators can’t take the chance when faced with a specific threat like that. Vibrators or Vibrater are perfectly acceptable among sex toys' users and with the transition of model conception and the popularization of vibrators.

I don’t fault schools for following lockdown procedures in the face of possible violent threats, but I am troubled by our overweening sense of protectiveness these days.  It shows on playgrounds, where monkey bars are removed lest a child fall.  It shows in our reluctance to let kids play outside or bike to a friend’s house unsupervised, lest a predator snatch them.  It shows in the way we are turning schools into virtual fortresses… or prisons.

And it shows in panicked administrators without a lick of common sense or sense of proportionality, who lock down entire schools for a known “threat” like…  a thermometer.  The old-fashioned glass kind, with mercury in it.  The kind that your parents probably stuck in your mouth when you were feverish, and neither they nor you worried about it.  But at a school in Florida, a student brought in just such a thermometer as part of an assignment to show examples of elements from the Periodic Table… and the school was placed in lockdown, and a hazmat team called in to deal with this “threat.”  Think about that:  the administration called a hazmat team to deal with an ordinary household item that is still manufactured and sold today (never needs batteries!).  Not to mention that every fluorescent light bulb in the building is actually a worse mercury-exposure hazard, if it breaks. So how about this instead:  “Timmy, I’m a little uncomfortable with this thermometer because it could break and spill the mercury.  I’m going to keep it for now and you take it home at the end of the day.”  Hey, the kid managed to get it there without breaking it – but if we’re still too scared to hand it back to him, there is also this: “… and I’m going to ask your parent to come pick it up.”  Ta-da!  Threat eliminated.  No hazmat team.  No disruption of classes or waste of taxpayer dollars or diversion of first responders to a place where they are patently not needed.

The six-hour lockdown of a Long Island school over a 911 call about a student with a gun is less cut-and dry.  SWAT teams, bomb squads, and canine units all got in on the action.  Slight problem:  according to the New York Daily News, “Nassau County Police found a toy lime green and yellow ‘Nerf’ gun in a student locker that fit the description of the original call.”  Please, have a look at the Daily News story and photos.  Students and parents were traumatized not by a stupid lime-green Nerf gun, but by the heavy-handed response.  I’m not sure who bears the greatest responsibility for this particular debacle – the 911 caller?  I can’t really blame the 911 dispatcher or the police, because actually… I am sorry to report… Ruger, Walther and Glock actually do make… lime-green guns.  Real ones.  Still, I have to ask:  do these two images look that much alike?  Would you really mistake one for the other?

NerfGun

Then there is this:  when confronted with a glimpse of some kind of lime-green plastic something sticking out of a backpack, do you automatically think “toy” or “gun?”  If you automatically think “gun,” that’s a sign that our culture has become waaay too steeped in blind fear.  Lime-green weapons (and other colors) do exist, but they are not exactly common.

We need to do better than this.  This kind of over-reaction is harmful, and contributes to that sense of blind fear, which in turn promotes more over-reaction.  We need to just stop.  Take a breath.  Be more deliberate and controlled, and less panicked.  Use our sense of reason, if we have any left at this point.  We all need to open our eyes so we can report real threats before they cause harm; this was the failure in the Sandy Hook case, and at Columbine.  But we also all need to open our eyes wide enough to not report or act on non-threats, and avoid the kind of damaging havoc that yields… nothing.  Just more fear.

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Dreaming in the Dark

Dreams are a funny business.  Some people spend their whole life chasing, reaching out, trying to get them, but rarely are they a catch-all to happiness if reached.  Some people are empowered by their dreams.  They can rejuvenate and re-energize.  Others grow bitter and despondent at the things in life that never were or never will be.

As kids we dream of the world.  I remember when I was young.  My dad had a map of the United States hanging in his shop.  In my mind, through my young eyes, it’s still ten feet across, but in reality I’m sure it was much less.  San Francisco, New York, Miami, Texas.  They were like faraway treasures only seen in movies.  Our town wasn’t even a faint dot on the map.  Population 1,200 doesn’t show up at that scale.  The Grand Canyon, giant redwood trees, the rolling ocean, and the Empire State Building filled my imagination.  The world seemed endless.  And I hadn’t even begun to think beyond the U.S.

By 23 I had talked my way into a 16-day, solo motorcycling camping trip for my final three credits of college.  I dipped my toes into the Pacific ocean, gazed across the Grand Canyon, and drove through the smoldering heat of Death Valley in late June and the snow-capped Rocky Mountains near the top of the world.  I’d lived in Florida for a year and moved back to the Midwest.

Once grown, everything shrinks.  Sometimes, so do our dreams.  But dreams are important, and we should never stop dreaming.  They can free us us from our routine and rut of life and set us on the most amazing new paths.

A few years back I read of a middle-aged couple who sold their house, their belongings, everything but the clothes on their back.  They packed up their motorcycle and set out to live life on the road, experiencing the world together.  They were true romantics.  They were dreamers.  The world is full of them.

I remember flying home for my sister’s wedding.  We stopped by the local bar, the only bar really in a town of 1,200 people.  Kids I’d gone to high school with drank beer and did shots and cracked jokes.  I drank in silence.  I thought of something I’d heard someone ask once, “Would you rather work one job for thirty years or thirty different jobs for one year each?”  Those people there seemed to be of the former.  I was the latter, and it all seemed so sad.

A year later I moved back home and realized I’d had it wrong.  They just had different dreams.  Family glued it all together in my mind.  Nieces and nephews ran rampant.  I got a job, one I could call a career.  I got promoted.  I got promoted again.  I bought a flat screen television.  And a car.  And worked 60 hours a week, spending my nights watching reruns of The Daily Show or Keeping up with the Kardashians or some Seinfeld episode for the sixth time.

I’d never contemplated suicide, but that isn’t the same as embracing life.  Or not wishing for death.  An old friend complained to me out of the blue, saying he would never kill himself, but that he could understand the appeal.  I understood.  Weeks before, my back a total mess, almost 400 pounds, spending ten minutes crawling ten damn feet to the bathroom on my hands and knees and hoping I wouldn’t shit myself, thoughts like getting robbed or in an accident or having a heart attack went through my head.

In the dark, left alone with only myself, it seemed like a good way to go.

I’d stopped dreaming.  Or I’d grown up, my dreams faded as if written long ago in pencil.  That happens to many it seems.  As a child those dark nights–all alone–had burst with adventure and possibility.  At what point does excitement fade into bitterness?

I contemplated quitting my job.  I shaved my head.  I continued burying myself in work and McDonalds and television.  I’d buy an extra value meal, a shake, a few burgers, then go home and try not to think about anything.  Again, I’d gotten it all wrong.

What is that old quote?  There are three types of people in the world: those that do, those that watch, and those that wonder.  That’s bullshit.  I don’t buy it.  There’s only one type at the core.  When you really boil it down to what we’re all after.  We’re all dreamers.  Some dreams have changed.  Some have got smaller.  Some people have just stopped dreaming altogether.  I had given up.

I want to dream again.  Not little dreams of a new car or a new job or a giant house or even winning the lottery.  Those are small dreams.  I’m talking big dreams.  Dreams that will truly change my life.  Dreams that will bring true happiness.  Those big dreams all start on the inside.  Those are dreams about changing yourself.  About overcoming your fears.  About accepting not who you are but who you know you can be.  Dreams that start with the knowledge that when reached, won’t bring you happiness, but knowledge that the joys and experiences along the journey are what life is about.  Those are the dreams that reinvigorate and re-energize.  Those are the adventures I used to dream about as a kid.

Tonight, laying awake in my bed, only silence and darkness around me, I’ll once again dream.

How To Be A Great Kisser

The kiss is an art form that a lot of couples assume isn’t necessary – but it is for amazing sex! Learn how to give the best lip service your partner’s ever had.

A kiss tends to be an oversight for some men. We want to get to the main event and rush the foreplay. The problem with this is that women like kissing just as much as sex. When you’re a bad kisser, women instantly shut down. If you’re wondering why you’re not going on more second and third dates, it could be because you’re a bad kisser. Being great at kissing can get you second and third dates based on this fact alone. So if you’re tired of getting the run-around from women and you’re willing to put a little practice into kissing, you can start out with these suggestions.

Obliviously it goes without saying that your lips are the most important part of kissing. However, a lot of guys forgo taking care of them before they go on a date. During the fall and winter months, lips can be bombarded by colder weather. Chapped and cracked lips are not sexy. Always carry lip balm with you to cut down on having chapped and cracked lips. Nobody wants to start kissing you when your lip could split and start bleeding. Applying lip balm to your lips once every hour will have them repaired in about a day.
Mirroring

Have you ever watched a couple kissing each other? When you watch a couple kiss, they are usually mirroring each other’s actions. When a guy puts his arms around the girl’s waist, she puts her arms around his waist. When the guy turns to the left to kiss his girlfriend, she turns to the left. Mirroring is compliance. This only occurs when the girl is comfortable with the guy. If she is not comfortable while kissing you, you should be able to feel it.
Escalation

Have you ever seen a guy go in for that kiss with too much momentum? This can be one of the most cringe-worth moments in a guy’s life. Kissing should be able escalation. You want to start slow. Barely touch her lips with you own and then escalate the situation further by kissing a little stronger every 5-6 seconds. When you start out too fast, you ruin the moment. Starting out slow is essential for getting her in the right mood.
Don’t Be Too Stiff

If you’re too stiff while you’re kissing, she will probably not be into it. Locked knees, hands gripping her waist like Stallone in Cliffhanger and a stiff neck are not what you want. Be loose, but firm. Hold her while you’re kissing, but don’t pull her into you so she can’t breath. You want to have mobility to distribute your weight while kissing. Moving your head and rocking back and forth are staples of good kissing. If you’re too stiff she won’t be able to mirror your movements. Remember that you’re leading during the kiss and she is supposed to be mirroring you. It shouldn’t be the other way around.
The Tongue

The tongue is another part of kissing that can be confusing. Yes, using your tongue is a lot of fun, but you shouldn’t be Reptile from Mortal Kombat. Keep that thing in your mouth until it’s time to use it. Don’t immediately shove your tongue into her mouth. This goes back to escalation. You want to ease into using your tongue. When implementing the tongue into kissing you want to gauge the situation based on her reciprocation. If you’re using your tongue and she’s not using it back, you might want to hold off until she feels more comfortable.
Hands

Your hands are a good way to pull the girl in closer and turn it on fairly quickly. If you’re hands are roaming around her body or her breasts, she could get uncomfortable. This also comes back to mirroring. When you start kissing, feel free to move your hands around her back and bring them up to her neck or cheeks. If she starts to pull back or she stops you from moving your hands around her, stop moving them immediately. She might be comfortable kissing her, but not comfortable with mauling her with your hands.
Finishing

Eventually the kissing will stop. When you are stopping you don’t want it to come to a grinding halt. Taper off from the kissing to tease her and leave her wanting more. If you stop immediately you will ruin the whole kiss. Pull your lips away slowly and take a second or two to allow the air to clear. You won’t want to pull away and then just start talking or walk away. Finish strong!